This year has been a stressful, tiring, nerve-wrecking, burning, worn-out, overworking, exasperating, and the list goes on from the thesaurus. Let me start with the challenge I did way back last April. It was the 100-Day Haiku Challenge. It made me anxious and at the same time creative because I have to think of a new topic each day, from under the sun to a random one as long as I post a new one each day. It was really a tiring challenge because I need to keep the words at the right number of lines and put meaning to it. Well, I’m glad it was over.
This year as well, I have gain lots of friends and enemies at the same time. I don’t like to dive in it that much because it’s related to work and I don’t like to talk about work in this God forsaken post of mine. Just know that there are rumors to make my workmates feel happy about themselves and some are true that I don’t care. I just don’t give a fuck about it that much because it’s not my business to dwell on it much. It’s not my part of my resume to be an eavesdropper. Well, looks like I just made my point about not talking about my work, and yes that’s how toxic work is. Well, that’s it for work.
This year, I admit myself I am a rude, impatient, spend-thrifty, angry, and moody person. Rude, because I don’t respect people’s opinions because they are either useless or dumb. I push people because they are slow (walking, yes) and loud to the point I am slamming doors and slamming things to deliver a word that I don’t like what they are doing. Impatient, because I don’t like people who are slow in thinking and can’t even make up their mind. Spend-thrifty, because I always eat outside when I’m stressed and I buy books and clothes even though I still have them unread and new clothes stack up. Angry, because I am easily annoyed by people’s loud mouths with their useless topics. I also don’t like people forcing me to apologize for what I’ve done. If they want a sincere apology? Don’t force me. Dumbfuck. And moody, because I am sometimes quiet and sometimes loud. I also cry because I don’t have what I want or I cry out of nowhere. I also decide slower because I am dumb. So, there’s that.
All I am saying is that this year’s memories and experiences make me what I am right now and I don’t like bringing them to a new year. What I want for the new year is to change, I’ll be myself again but a different one. I just don’t like people think of me different because I’m quiet. The people around me told me to change because I’m too quiet and right now I’m too loud and wants to mingle with them and then they don’t like the way I’m acting? They told me to change even though they said it to me in the first place? So who should I listen more? It’s time for me to not listen to what they are thinking of me and I’ll just be contented of what I have.
Here’s the list for me to bring in 2018:
1. Don’t become someone you don’t
2. Be original
3. Help yourself out
4. Get some rest
5. Stay hydrated
6. Read more books
7. Write more
8. Be in a good company
9. Be patient
10. Don’t spend a lot, save more
And also, I’m still thinking of a new challenge to do next year, something simple but can work my mind out, too. I’ll probably be a bit busy on the following months but I’ll stay connected.
As the famous Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy says or sings:
“Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren’t so great”
Thanks for everything, and for the lessons I learn. The mistakes I made have been great lessons, too. And that I won’t do them again.